Never to Expect. (One lesson which I keep on forgetting)

Dear Diary,

Never to expect.

That is one lesson that I keep on forgetting.

There were a lot of things that happened to my life (I think others can relate as well) which made me realize that it's bad not so good to expect on something, especially if it's not even there yet...

Or even if that something is already there. Because you can never know there would be something that would come up in the last minute and would totally ruin that something which is already there. Am I making sense here?

Now, it has been emphasized to me once again. Greatly. Unexpectedly. 

And this time, I'm not really sure if I'm learning it. I'm ashamed because I expected something to push through. But on the last minute, it took a complete turn and it seems I could not do anything but accept the fact that it's not gonna happen anymore.  Excitement took a complete turn as well. If you know what I mean.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional Blog -

Why Did You Like and Comment On Her Facebook Picture?

Dear Diary,

I have to admit, I tend to be like the lady in the photo above. Figuratively. Not literally. Not always. Just sometimes.

I get so paranoid whenever I post something and he doesn't comment and instead, he commented on another girl's post. Not only that, I would hate him. And would hate the girl too. to the max!!! Just because he is supposed to comment to my post.  Enough. 

I don't know if this is something to do with me being a girl or just me being me. 

You see, some of my girl friends actually confess being like that at some point of their loving relationships. But I'm not still sure if it's normal or not. In fact, there are times when I would remind myself not to feel like that again because there's no point of dwelling too much on the issue.

But there are times when I can't help it. I would then start ranting about him. He has changed. He is not like before. He does not love me. He has found somebody else. And all those blahs!

Well, I can't explain it further. And you don't have to explain as well. Let's just think about it as a mystery yet to be solved.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Severely drained.

Dear Diary,

Severely drained.

That is how I'm feeling right now.

To the point of being able to cry in front of my family.

The last thing I did that was when I was in Elementary. And I never imagined to happen that again.

I'm actually not that type of person. In fact, I always keep problems to myself. I always hide feelings and let my tears fell when I'm already alone.

But this time, I feel like everything in me has been exhausted and nothing is left. 

Time. Energy. Resources. Even people. I don't have it anymore.

And what is my last resort? Drown myself with my own tears.

Where can I go next huh?I don't know. I don't know anymore.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional blog-

A Sweet Revenge.

Dear Diary, 

I'm happy again! I received a good news. The heavens are at my side and things start to fall into place. I'm loving it! 

See? See? I don't know why I tend to get what I want most of the time. 

But yes! A sweet revenge, that is. 

Give it to me, baby!

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Insensitivity

Dear Diary,

I just wonder why we are so insensitive. When that moment comes when people tend to be like that to us, we could not do anything but be speechless, show off a fake smile, and pretend to agree to what they have said and done. Because after all, we tend to be like that to other people too. Helpless? Darn.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Enthusiasm is just so 10 degrees below zero.

Dear Diary,

That moment when you don't feel like going to somewhere anymore. That moment when you no longer like doing what you repeatedly do. That moment when your enthusiasm is just so 10 degrees below zero. 

Negativity. Boredom. Anxiety. You just feel 'em all together and all you wanna do is to hide somewhere and shut yourself with your own somewhat solitude. You just want to be alone and you want to scream that to everybody. Because you feel more secure when you're in your comfort zone... all by yourself.

If you only you could do that and if only you have the luxury of time... and if only you are not bombarded with so many demands. 

But I guess, you just have to endure everything out because that's just how cruel the world is. Or that's just how you perceive it to be.

Poor you, pal. Get some rest tomorrow. Just wish you could do that.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional blog-

For the person who said she is not stupid.

Dear Diary,

Have you ever tried telling somebody else that you're not stupid even if no one is really telling you that?

How would you define such moment? 

Feeling so stupid when nobody is telling you.... that is really being stupid. Much more if you blame others for feeling so stupid.

Stupidity comes from within. It isn't driven by the things outside. It cannot be influenced. 

You can always choose to be stupid or NOT primarily because you are the doer of your own actions. So if you feel that way, you can always choose to simply keep your mouth shut, think straight and do what is right. If not, can you think what does that mean?

-The Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional blog-