RESPONSIBILITY

Dear Diary,

According to the dictionary, the word RESPONSIBILITY is simply defined as "The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something." It's a simple definition yet people have their ideas of this word probably because we are all unique and were brought up by our societies in different ways. In fact, we tend to be so conscious of becoming one that we forget that it's just a simple virtue we can uphold effortlessly.

Let me quote that again. "The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something."

Having a duty. Duty. Once we have or given a duty, we are expected to be responsible. Having duties is where we are trained to be responsible. Responsibility requires action and that is shown when we do duties.

Deal with something. Sometimes, we are bombarded with very important tasks, left and right, and sometimes, we don't know what to do first or what to do anymore. But once we are able to deal with them, then I think we have shown this virtue.

Simple, right? Not really.

Because as I said, no matter how easy the standard definition of this word is, we still have different ideas of it brought about by our own experiences.

And sometimes we use these ideas to judge whether another person is responsible or not. Not knowing that THAT person may judge us equally with his/her own ideas as well. And this creates a misunderstanding. Chaos. Blah blah.

Take it from me because I was once a victim of this judgement.

And I couldn't help but simply laugh it off since God knows what I went through in life to become responsible.

We have our own responsibilities. I have mine and I'm doing them. Stick with it. 


-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Disclaimer: All posts on this site are written from the mind, or sometimes from the heart. Do not judge the writer by the words. This is free writing.

Don't ever judge a person by your own standards.

Dear Diary,

Don't ever judge a person by your own standards. Your standards might be six feet below the ground or just simply not parallel.If that's the case, then you will only be a subject to mockery.

You want that? I don't think so.

So, keep that in mind. 

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional blog-

Paying your bills matter more. And paying your bills on time is a must.

Dear Diary,

Money matters. Paying your bills matter more. And paying your bills on time is a must. It's a responsibility that we should not ignore or avoid. 

If you can't afford to do this simple task, then why gamble at the very first place?

Why would you enter into some kind of deal if you can't keep your word? It's disappointing. It's disgusting especially if it creates a hassle to another person. Especially if that "other person" does his/her best to fulfill his/her responsibilities. Now that "other person" is stuck of waiting for your action to take place... or will he/she has to wonder first whether you have the intention of making things right or not? 

It's even worse when the reputation of that "other person" is in question now, simply because of your plain d*mn irresponsibility!

Betcha by golly wow.

Responsibility. Responsibility. Hear ye. Hear ye.

Please naman oh.


-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

THAT UNEASY FEELING.

Dear Diary,

THAT UNEASY FEELING.

You thought it's already fine. You thought you're just going to be ok with it.

 You convinced yourself you're excited. You tell yourself you're now brave enough to see.

Everything's fine. I will be ok. Or so you thought.

So, you waited.

Then when it's there, boom!

You realize that convincing yourself to just let it pass is simply a stupid thing.

You realize you're not a martyr and you have feelings too.

And it cuts you deeply.

Because you know, deep within you, you haven't really moved on.

And it still hurts.

And it brings back those memories.

Which you consider stupid by the way.

But then again, the reality is that you're still hurt and you hurt when this realization hit you directly on the face.

Point blank. Direct. Ouch.

THAT UNEASY FEELING.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

That's the end of it.

Dear Diary,

Ok. That's the end of it. That's the end of this nonsense stuff that's going for the past few months. I just don't know why people tend to be so insensitive when they really don't know what's going on.

And the worst of it comes when you haven't really crossed the bridge yet, but they've already pushed you forward. And when they felt that you're already at the other side (even if it's not yet), they suddenly burn the bridge. 

What hurts the most is that when everything was still ok (or so you thought), you were building bridges with them. Ladders, in fact. And now, they're getting there and you're just left behind.

Got no choice then but to look for other bridges to build and other people to help you build those bridges.

It just simply sucks to know that once in your life, you made friends to people who became strangers to you at the end. But the question is: Did they become your friends after all?

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Be very careful to what you say.

Dear Diary,

Be very careful to what you say. 

Especially when there are people who are very sensitive at the moment.

You never know you might hurt them... even if it's unintentional.

Just the same, be careful. 

Because it's not everyday that every thing you say is ok.

Ok?

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Expected decisions. Unexpected moments.

Dear Diary,

Expected decisions. Unexpected moments. That's just how it works.


We will always have that moment when we need to make decisions no matter how difficult it may seem. Much more if it's a decision that will make a significant difference in our lives. Especially, if options are close enough in fighting.

And sometimes, you're caught in the middle and seem to be in the catastrophe of choosing which is better.

And then something unexpected happens and there you are, with a sudden outrage, come to decide right away. It's like"alignment of the universe" but in a so awkward way.

Oh well. We really don't have the choice but to embrace our decision and move on.

Move on. Move forward.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Why are you so ambitious?

Dear Diary,

Why are you so ambitious? Sorry but you're actually not THAT good. You can do it. Fine. But it's not something that you should flaunt every time there's a chance because, frankly, you really don't look good doing it. 

I'm sorry but it's not natural. Trying hard.  Don't force it. Please. I'd say that a thousand times.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional Blog -

Confused. And it's making me so sad right now.

Dear Diary,

Confused.

That's what I'm now.

I'm caught in between two things. Figuratively. And it's hard to decide.

The first one would make me so happy. The second one would make others happy.

The first needs a lot of time and effort. The second one can be set aside for the meantime.

The first would start everything. The second would prolong the agony.

The first is not so sure. The second would be more organized.

I'm really not sure which is more important and which would make things right at the end.

And It's making me so sad right now.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Never to Expect. (One lesson which I keep on forgetting)

Dear Diary,

Never to expect.

That is one lesson that I keep on forgetting.

There were a lot of things that happened to my life (I think others can relate as well) which made me realize that it's bad not so good to expect on something, especially if it's not even there yet...

Or even if that something is already there. Because you can never know there would be something that would come up in the last minute and would totally ruin that something which is already there. Am I making sense here?

Now, it has been emphasized to me once again. Greatly. Unexpectedly. 

And this time, I'm not really sure if I'm learning it. I'm ashamed because I expected something to push through. But on the last minute, it took a complete turn and it seems I could not do anything but accept the fact that it's not gonna happen anymore.  Excitement took a complete turn as well. If you know what I mean.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional Blog -

Severely drained.

Dear Diary,

Severely drained.

That is how I'm feeling right now.

To the point of being able to cry in front of my family.

The last thing I did that was when I was in Elementary. And I never imagined to happen that again.

I'm actually not that type of person. In fact, I always keep problems to myself. I always hide feelings and let my tears fell when I'm already alone.

But this time, I feel like everything in me has been exhausted and nothing is left. 

Time. Energy. Resources. Even people. I don't have it anymore.

And what is my last resort? Drown myself with my own tears.

Where can I go next huh?I don't know. I don't know anymore.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional blog-

A Sweet Revenge.

Dear Diary, 

I'm happy again! I received a good news. The heavens are at my side and things start to fall into place. I'm loving it! 

See? See? I don't know why I tend to get what I want most of the time. 

But yes! A sweet revenge, that is. 

Give it to me, baby!

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Insensitivity

Dear Diary,

I just wonder why we are so insensitive. When that moment comes when people tend to be like that to us, we could not do anything but be speechless, show off a fake smile, and pretend to agree to what they have said and done. Because after all, we tend to be like that to other people too. Helpless? Darn.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Enthusiasm is just so 10 degrees below zero.

Dear Diary,

That moment when you don't feel like going to somewhere anymore. That moment when you no longer like doing what you repeatedly do. That moment when your enthusiasm is just so 10 degrees below zero. 

Negativity. Boredom. Anxiety. You just feel 'em all together and all you wanna do is to hide somewhere and shut yourself with your own somewhat solitude. You just want to be alone and you want to scream that to everybody. Because you feel more secure when you're in your comfort zone... all by yourself.

If you only you could do that and if only you have the luxury of time... and if only you are not bombarded with so many demands. 

But I guess, you just have to endure everything out because that's just how cruel the world is. Or that's just how you perceive it to be.

Poor you, pal. Get some rest tomorrow. Just wish you could do that.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional blog-

For the person who said she is not stupid.

Dear Diary,

Have you ever tried telling somebody else that you're not stupid even if no one is really telling you that?

How would you define such moment? 

Feeling so stupid when nobody is telling you.... that is really being stupid. Much more if you blame others for feeling so stupid.

Stupidity comes from within. It isn't driven by the things outside. It cannot be influenced. 

You can always choose to be stupid or NOT primarily because you are the doer of your own actions. So if you feel that way, you can always choose to simply keep your mouth shut, think straight and do what is right. If not, can you think what does that mean?

-The Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional blog-

I'm nicer than nice and I'm nice to nice people.

Dear Diary,

Are you nice?

I am.

Whether you believe it or not, I am. N. I. C. E.

Yes!

Not the nicey-nosey-overly nice though because I still get some I-don't-like first impressions from people. (snob, rude, strict... please! Don't judge the book by its bookmark.)

But I'm the type who would be nice to you once you're nice to me. And once you realize that I'm not S-R-S and that I'm completely the other way around. 

If you would know me better, you'll know I'm nicer than "nice" and I'm nice to nice people.

And lastly,

Alright? So, be nice!

-The Blogger of "The Diary of an Emotional" Blog-

Time to hit the sacks. Sucks.

Dear Diary,

It is so 'what-the-hell-has-happened-moment' to know that you have been "slashed off" from the original plan. Isn't it?

That moment when you already expected something because it has already been confirmed, then all of sudden, there's a change of plan... and you're no longer part of it.

Jawbreaking! (if there is such thing) Much more if you have prepared for it, right? It's like WHHHHAAATTT??!!! With matching cover-your-face award! Jeez.

And you simply don't have a choice but back-off, do something else, and pretend you're ok.

Well, I'm not.

Time to hit the sacks. Sucks.

-The Emotional Blogger of "The Diary of an Emotional" Blog-

This is a curious case of a Nosy B*tch!

Dear Diary,

I just really don't get it when people meddle over a relationship they knew nothing about. It's a nuisance. Pathetic. Uncalled for.

Why can't they just stop giving unsolicited advise and hasty generalization? They don't even know the context of the situation! More so, they don't even know the person yet. Please. 

This is a curious case of a Nosy B*tch!

Maybe, they do that because:

1. They got nothing to do with their life but stick their noses to other people's issues.

2. They are born to be bitter. 

3. They are just jealous.

4. They are unhappy and they want others to be like that too. (Geez.)

5. They have issues with themselves and their relationships but they are just too preoccupied with ruining that of others. 

How I wish they could just back-off and try to make themselves happy. "Life is too precious to waste". And certainly, minding other people's business is a waste of time. It doesn't even help at all.

Well, if you're like that, I'm sorry men! Go get a life! 

Mwah.

-The Emotional Blogger of "The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

I was excited to come home. I thought I would end this day with a smile. But...

Dear Diary,

I was excited to come home. I thought I would end this day with a smile.

I was tired but I wanted to be awake because I wanna make up for my absence.

But tears fell. And continue to fall.

Because I realized that at the end of the day, my decisions would always be wrong.

And I would never do things right. 

I just wish to be happy.

I want joy!

Stop killing me, please.

The boy who likes me. Kids these days

Dear Diary, 

Today, I saw a boy.

The boy who likes me.

And remember, he is my student. 

And I teach 2nd graders.

How did I know?

Last Friday during my class on their section, I noticed that there was a group of pupils who kept on looking at me while they were talking (Disclaimer: I allowed them to talk that time because I gave them a group activity.) and they have this "teasing" smiles.

One of the girls came to me and said that one boy in that group LIKES me. Not the "I like the teacher" type but the "crush"type.

And there the boy blushed. His face was so red. And the other students teased.They pushed him towards me but the boy resisted.

I was speechless for a little while. I did not know what to say. I tried to ignore by going to another group and check their work.

.......................................................

To make the story short, I ended up having a sermon talk on rules and regulations inside the classroom and teacher-student/ student-student relationship. Of course, my role is to be their second mother and them, my own kids. Emphasized that to them.

And whenever I see that boy again, I can't help but smile.

KIDS THESE DAYS. 

Wew!!!!

-The Emotional Blogger of "The Diary of an Emotional" blog-