THAT UNEASY FEELING.

Dear Diary,

THAT UNEASY FEELING.

You thought it's already fine. You thought you're just going to be ok with it.

 You convinced yourself you're excited. You tell yourself you're now brave enough to see.

Everything's fine. I will be ok. Or so you thought.

So, you waited.

Then when it's there, boom!

You realize that convincing yourself to just let it pass is simply a stupid thing.

You realize you're not a martyr and you have feelings too.

And it cuts you deeply.

Because you know, deep within you, you haven't really moved on.

And it still hurts.

And it brings back those memories.

Which you consider stupid by the way.

But then again, the reality is that you're still hurt and you hurt when this realization hit you directly on the face.

Point blank. Direct. Ouch.

THAT UNEASY FEELING.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

That's the end of it.

Dear Diary,

Ok. That's the end of it. That's the end of this nonsense stuff that's going for the past few months. I just don't know why people tend to be so insensitive when they really don't know what's going on.

And the worst of it comes when you haven't really crossed the bridge yet, but they've already pushed you forward. And when they felt that you're already at the other side (even if it's not yet), they suddenly burn the bridge. 

What hurts the most is that when everything was still ok (or so you thought), you were building bridges with them. Ladders, in fact. And now, they're getting there and you're just left behind.

Got no choice then but to look for other bridges to build and other people to help you build those bridges.

It just simply sucks to know that once in your life, you made friends to people who became strangers to you at the end. But the question is: Did they become your friends after all?

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Be very careful to what you say.

Dear Diary,

Be very careful to what you say. 

Especially when there are people who are very sensitive at the moment.

You never know you might hurt them... even if it's unintentional.

Just the same, be careful. 

Because it's not everyday that every thing you say is ok.

Ok?

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Expected decisions. Unexpected moments.

Dear Diary,

Expected decisions. Unexpected moments. That's just how it works.


We will always have that moment when we need to make decisions no matter how difficult it may seem. Much more if it's a decision that will make a significant difference in our lives. Especially, if options are close enough in fighting.

And sometimes, you're caught in the middle and seem to be in the catastrophe of choosing which is better.

And then something unexpected happens and there you are, with a sudden outrage, come to decide right away. It's like"alignment of the universe" but in a so awkward way.

Oh well. We really don't have the choice but to embrace our decision and move on.

Move on. Move forward.

-The Emotional Blogger of The Diary of an Emotional Blog-

Why are you so ambitious?

Dear Diary,

Why are you so ambitious? Sorry but you're actually not THAT good. You can do it. Fine. But it's not something that you should flaunt every time there's a chance because, frankly, you really don't look good doing it. 

I'm sorry but it's not natural. Trying hard.  Don't force it. Please. I'd say that a thousand times.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional Blog -

For the limelight.

Dear Diary, 

Do you know anybody who doesn't love the limelight? We all do. Right?

Who doesn't want to show off what we got? It's hypocrisy not to raise hands.

There is actually nothing wrong with it because everybody is entitled to be given an opportunity to shine anyway. Apparently, we all deserve to be in that tiny little space with light sometimes.

However, there are people when they love the limelight so much that they would do anything to be on that space in any chance they could get and that would be... always. 

Yes, they do anything to stand out, even to the point of trying to make others look ridiculous. Ridiculous in the sense that original plans are scrapped out and they go beyond to what has been talked about and cleared out. Selfishness? You name it. For the love of limelight.

If people were just aware of the intention then definitely, they would not stick to the plan as well. What really happened? When traitors are busy with themselves, the others were so concerned with everybody's welfare. Where's justice?

And there's nothing that could spill from the mouth  of those who have been a good follower but "IF ONLY".

IF ONLY...

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary on an Emotional Blog-

Confused. And it's making me so sad right now.

Dear Diary,

Confused.

That's what I'm now.

I'm caught in between two things. Figuratively. And it's hard to decide.

The first one would make me so happy. The second one would make others happy.

The first needs a lot of time and effort. The second one can be set aside for the meantime.

The first would start everything. The second would prolong the agony.

The first is not so sure. The second would be more organized.

I'm really not sure which is more important and which would make things right at the end.

And It's making me so sad right now.

-The Emotional Blogger of the Diary of an Emotional Blog-